HARNIC RHETORIC : WEAPONS FOR THOSE THAT BEAR NO ARMS!!

            The following is a list of good Harnic insults, use them on friends, use them on foes, but use them carefully please!  I
    cannot be held responsible for unsatisfied "customers!"  These are a collection of home made, common, and Shakespearian modifications.

INSULTS:
    Thou hast surely been on Dekejis' serving platter.
    Thoust would not be even a table scrap for Dekejis.
    Naveh's dung in your teeth!  And your breath reeks of his lies.
    Her pride fled when Thalia left.
    That she would take such a loathsome oaf, methinks she may be Syverhyn.
    Where they sons of mine that did so, I'd have them whipped; or sent to
        the place of Quimen to be Crimson damned.
    Rethem is a den for dogs and Gargun, and worthy of no man's treading.
    He is but a Satyr!  Rapacious and hairy.
    Not even mighty Herpa could bash out his brains, as he has none.
    Myrvria her self must have kissed him, as his breath is so foul and stinks
        of rotting corpses.
    Thou hast the manners of a Gargun, and breath twice as foul.
    He is like a loathsome dwarf, short of stature, humor, and generosity.
    The only thing elf like about that one is his immortality, as he is eternally
        infuriating.
    Morsindar!  If elf at all.
    Thou art so short and queer!  Surely a changeling.
    He is... he is a thing to bad for bad report.
    She looks at him with venom'd daggers.
    I scorn thee and thy fashion, peevish boy.
    Kaldor, dear Kaldor is strongest in bravery.  your Ivanian, your Thard, your
        slack faced Rethemi, are but mites to brave Kaldor.
    He's a most notorious coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly
        promise breaker.  A small bark would send him fleeing.
    He doth love his page too much methinks.
    Lumber on you fat and greasy bastards!  'Tis apparently the fashion here.
    An evening like this with you m'lady is more cheaply bought elsewhere.
    Thou basest of things!  Begone from my sight.
    His face be so tart as to sour fresh grapes.
    A whoreson, flap eared, beetle-headed knave!
    Only for your heath and digestion's sake good sir.  An after dinner mint?
    Were you split open his liver, one could get a mug of spirits for free!
    You play the mongrel sir.  Thinking your wagging tongue to persuade me.
    A plague upon thee!  A pox to rot thy yellow teeth.
    You must be deep in your cups, to be such a fool.
    Your appearance goes much against my stomach.
    There are no loose tongues about you dear lady.  For all know of your
        whoring.
    Thine advice is not worth a rotten egg.
    He is like an overturned cup.  Empty, loud, leaving a mess.
    Your wits, are strongly encastled in a stone skull.
    Bear not the effort.  His wits are gone.
    How now my weak hearted fop.  What mischief are you upon today?
    Thou rotted apple.. thou addle-witted fiend.. thou great noodle.
    Impudent hopping flea!  Thou hairy nothing.
    Thou tripe encased rascal!
    Oh arrant ass!  Go shake thine ears elsewhere.
    Thou whoreson assbreath, out with thee.
    May Morgath take your soul.
    Such a ludicrous noise thou dost keep up.
    How thy tongue does twang but ineffectually.
    How thou talks your poor tongue and my poor ears weary.
    You swagger your dull wit about like a clumsy hammer.
    An over boiled wit, with no substance remaining.
    His brains buttered would fill but a spoonful.
    Sweet tickle brain, how cluttered thy poor head.  Doth it ache thee?
    Your lost mind is but a plague upon me!
    Thou must itch sorely, as you are the most grievous scab on Harn!
    Do thy wits be so fat and lazy as thy belly?
    Aye, tough he looks.  Undo his hauberk and his belly would tumble to his
        knees.
    He does show some sparks that are like wit.
    His wits, though not so fair, are lost like Alarienel.
    Your fair face cannot hide your foul grace.
    His soul is black, as if besmeared in Balgashang.
    'Tis a pleasure to see you hence from here.
    Death and pain dog thee at the heels.
    I'd rather burn my ears with flaming brands, than with you lies.
    Have you a mighty bellows at the back of your head?  You have endless
        breath, of only hot air.
    I trust you like a coin from Rethem.
 

PRAISES:
    Such a lovely that Halea must have smiled upon your birth.
    So sweet is Rehara that were a V'hir to trick a kiss from her, he'd convert.
    My affection for thee has an unknown bottom, like Lake Benath.
    Tania!  Or a worldly paragon.
    By every hair in my beard!  'Tis good to see thee.
    Larani steels his soul this day!
    Thou hast monstrous balls, such that not even Dekejis could swallow.
    She is dull, but has a well turned thigh.
    Were I to die with you, I would be most happy.
    She sits, as one risen from my dreams.
    My purse, my person, my strongest means, are open to you.
    Though she charm Yael from the sky with her words, she need but look
        at me.
    I like your company, and would willingly waste my time in it.
    You surely have a place in Save-K'nor's court in the hence after.
    You have the sweetness of far eastern dainties.
    'Tis dandy to see you man.
    I'd gladly empty cups with you, and assault Dorithor the next morn.
    'Tis said her look makes the daisies sprout.

SAYINGS:
    Even roses have thorns.
    His temper burns like the pits of Balgashang.
    Even the gods seek Save-K'nor's wisdom at times.
    'Tis said his tongue tickles the ears of the Council of Eleven.
    If kisses were the only pleasures in bed, one woman would another wed.
    She would become a Crimson Dancer for you.
    I am struck to the quick.
    In religion there is no damned failing, that a pontiff cannot bless and
        approve with a text.
    Greatest scandals await in greatest estates.
    Grievous wrong doings!  It blows me up like a bladder.
    Surely as a Khuzdul has a beard.
    A knavish speech finds home in a foolish ear.
    Sweetmeats grown common, lose their dear delight.
    Fair thoughts be of my fair pillow.
    Many a man's tongue shaking, undoes his master's doings.
    Breaking your bargain is the surest way to meet Halea, though not the
        fairest way.
    Cudgel thy brains no more on the matter.
    'Tis more than jewelry that can be stolen from a maid.  And that what cannot
        be replaced.
    If I follow such a deception again, I'll have my brains buttered and given
        to a Gargun for a treat.
    Gods send him well.  The courts a place for harsh learning.
    Unnatural deeds breed unnatural troubles.
    A friend in the court is worth more than pence in the purse.
    I'll spend my days in my ladies lap; and deck my body in gay ornaments,
        and witch sweets maids with my words and looks.
    He that wants money, power, and fame is one without three good friends.
    He who signs the Shadow's pact, has the direst price to pay.
    He who lives by the sword, dies by the arrow.
    Larani gives us strength, Peoni gives us forgiveness, but Halea gives us
        permission!